The Wantaway is TDK’s soccer link dump where we finally bend to meet your demands and chuck your kit from the dressing room that is our site.

It’s only fitting that we’d kick things off with some ‘SMNT news now that Goldenkaiser Jurgen Klinsmann is running the show for the US. And our first item is a curious bit of news involving American international Eddie Johnson. Apparently, Johnson got in trouble for a super-late 3 a.m. sit-down with Klinsmann at a Florida Hampton Inn! His wife was so furious with the Grown-Ass Man for taking such a late work meeting that she rammed his Camaro! With her Jeep! In the hotel parking lot!

OK, so the G.A.M. wasn’t meeting with Klinsmann. Johnson was apparently meeting with a female soccer coach. OK, so she wasn’t a coach. She was a female. And they weren’t discussing soccer tactics at the time. We don’t think. You never know with people that don’t have time for video games.

Either way, we’re just hoping someone ran coverage of the story under the headline “Groan, Ass-Man!” Although we’re quite certain that no one did.

In other Klinsmann news, here’s a good and hopeful breakdown on Goldenkaiser’s ability to look left. And not just while crossing the street (to dodge angry Jeeps).

Someone else at a publication far more respected than yours broke down who stands to gain and lose with Goldenkaiser’s appointment. Spoiler alert: Goldenbaldy’s son is one who stands to gain. No, really!

Back in Goldenkaiser’s homeland, however, Coach’s Son is apparently not welcome with his club any longer. Or doesn’t want to be there any longer. Or something like that. We don’t know; we don’t speak German. (Wirklich? Bist du sicher?) And if you don’t speak German either, here’s a good Twitter list to use to follow all the haps in the Bundesliga.

Moving a little closer to home like a Carlos Tevez transfer request, Clint Dempsey and Fulham are one round away from Europa League group play. To celebrate, their Dutch boss is going to smoke some meat.

Based a few hours south of Craven Cottage, this English club would be wise to never come back to the US. Ever. And not because we don’t want them here, but because every time they cross the Atlantic westward, things go all Chevy Chase on them. Last year they lost their kits and suffered horrible weather conditions. This year, they lost a friendly with a big Spanish club thanks to a wantaway catering truck. “Stay home, Pompey! Pompey, stay home!”

Despite their travel woes, however, Pompey were able to hold firm in the Championship. To look ahead to their upcoming campaign, as well as every other league football club, the Guardian ran a tremendous series of “Bloggers’ View” previews. Here’s the Championship, League One, and League Two. Read fast, they technically become irrelevant once Hull faces Blackpool Friday afternoon.

As for Americans in England, Stu Holden’s training again. That’s great news for Bolton fans. And you ‘SMNT fans. It’s also great news for us, as it means we get to run this photo of him, well, working out.

Another American overseas, Clarence Goodson, has been named captain of his Danish club. No photos of him working out, however. Though he most probably does every so often.

Meanwhile, just up the globe a pitch, Lester Dewee has signed with Angelholm FF in Sweden. He becomes the second American on the club. The other is some goalkeeper. Shocker, I know.

Heading in the other direction, Juan Pablo Angel once played for Aston Villa. Now he plays for the LA Galaxy of Los Angeles. Angel’s had a pretty decent career. It’d appear his son is set to have one as well. Peep his highlight reel below.

More LA video! Like Ol’ Blue Eyes, Ol’ Golden Balls has no regrets. (Although Frank Sinatra never had to share a dressing room with Bruce Arena.) At least that’s what he’s telling Sky Sports in this video interview.

This Englishman in New York is confused by the concept of trading players in MLS. But he’s not confused by Alcia Keys’ greatness. That’s pretty much indisputable to him. Either way, read Luke Rodgers’ blog for FourFourTwo. It’s FanF**kingTastic.

Here’s another admirable cluster of keyboard strokes about an Englishman with MLS connections. The Guardian caught up to ex-Toronto FC player Rohan Ricketts. Which might not be that hard these days, given that he’s lost a step or two. Either way, the wantwithin winger speaks candidly about trying to get back to English football.

As for this MLS link, well, there’s really no point to this. Other than to look at that photo, and look at that headline, and think about being a soccer brasser who gets to go on scouting trips to Brazil, and just hate on fellas who look that content with their lot in life. Like, I bet Rohan Ricketts looks nothing like that these days.

But. Speaking of soccer talent that’s kinda-sorta hidden, ESPN’s Grantland snatched up uber-talented Run of Play scribe Brian Phillips. Here’s his first piece for a site founded by that guy who seems to like soccer every four years.

On that note, the first time I saw a Richard Swarbick animation was courtesy of Run of Play. Now the dandy doodler has done up a Wayne Rooney cartoon. You can watch it here.

Wayne-o also got done up in brush strokes elsewhere this week. Though something tells me the image below is going to bag him a few more bucks than the clip above.

But enough about Wayne Rooney. More about his kit. And those of every other EPL side. Definitely hit this link if you want to get sidetracked for a good 130 seconds. It’s pretty much what the internet was intended for.

Wait, hang on, just a few more odds and ends … there’s a blog in SLC that does great work. And they picked Ned Grabavoy as RSL’s player of the month.

Ryan Johnson scored a very nice goal. For a Ryan Johnson, that is. (Just kidding, we actually love Ryan Johnsons here at TDK.)

And then we couldn’t think of a more fitting way to wrap up this wreck of a US-UK soccer mash-up than with a photo of philosophtweeter Joey Barton. Wearing an NPR kit. Here it is.

There you have it. The ultimate wantaway in the less-than-ultimate Wantaway. Have a great weekend.